Mom- we need to hook LaShelle up
Nana- yeah she needs a boyfriend
Me- what the hell..are you guys trying to get rid of me?
Jayden (shouting from his room)- No! Your the bestest sister ever!

Jayden (after mom telling him that if he doesn't clean his room Santa won't bring any toys): then Santa will just say that he hates me..he will say "Jayden you are a little snot!"

Jayden, shortly after the episode above, singing,
"OOOHHHH Jayden is the master cleaner..he cleans his whole room..hes gonna clean up the whole wide worllllldddddd...because hes not a snot...."

Juilanna- I'm a duck..quack 

Jaydens version of "Angry birds"

While we were in Idaho we went to the goodwill, Julianna and I were waiting to ask one of the workers for a dressing room, a man who looked just like Santa came up to us and started talking to her. After he walked away she says
"I know that wasn't the real Santa"
Me- "How do you know that?"
Nana- "Because he smells like beer and cigarettes"
HAHAHA!!

Dad- Jayden what do you want for Christmas?
Jayden- A whoopie cushion.

You know you get sick a lot when..

Jayden- I drew a Family picture...but you aren't in it.
Me- Why?
Jayden- Because you were sick

Kenneth G Cook

Jayden decided to write our dads name down...

AMA's

We were watching Christina aguilaras performance on the American Music Awards I reached over to cover Juliannas eyes and I yelled to Jayden telling him to cover his eyes, he looks at me with the most serious look he can muster up and says "It's just boobs LaShelle."

I was wrapping presents and Jayden come up to me..
Jayden- Jeez shell I guess you were right about we shouldn't swallow our gum..
Me- Why do you say that?
Jayden- Because the toilet paper was stuck to my butt!

Me- Should I put my hair in a high pony tail or a low pony tail?
Julianna- I don't know. I'm not a stylist i'm just a mannequin

Shit my family says..

Now keep in mind my family is not the most spiritual group of people..

Thanksgiving dinner, everyone has gotten their food and sat down I can't remember who said it but,

"We forgot to say grace!"

Almost everyone- Grace. 

My cousins were fighting over who was the favorite nephew (my dad being the uncle) after them going on for a while my dad says "I feel like a prized pig!"

Positive creativity

So while we were out black Friday shopping we stopped for hot chocolate/coffee and the lady gave us extra straws. The next day the kids asked me if I got them anything so I gave them the straws. Jayden comes into my room and says  "LOOK it's a 'life saver' and my lion is in star wars!" 

Shit GRANDPA says

Dad- I should have turned on that road huh
Grandpa- yeah that probably would have helped. (5 second pause) i used to work over in those fields

We were at artic circle getting shakes,
Grandpa- i should go get a refund (in a sad voice) they broke my cracker..

Shopping fun

We went up to Idaho over Thanksgiving break, and one of the days we were there we went to big lots. I had asked Jayden what he wanted to get Julianna (he picked out a necklace shaped like a heart with a 'J' in it)
As we were walking around the store he asked me, "Shell aren't you going to ask me what I want to get you for Christmas?"
So I asked him what he wanted to get me, and he replied "I'm not telling you. That would ruin the surprise."

We were up by the register and I was looking at the big diamond fashion rings, and I told Jayden he should get me one of the rings.
Jayden- I can't get you one of those!
Me- Why not?
Jayden- Because those are for people who are getting married. And you aren't getting married.
Me-What makes you say that?
Jayden- The rings are in black boxes duh. and you're not getting married because you're not old enough.

Elf on the shelf.

This year, Santa decided that our family should have an elf. For those of you who don't know what the purpose of the elf is, he moves around in your home and reports back to Santa, telling him who has been naughty, and who has been nice!
Jayden was being a little stinker and I warned him that the elf was watching him.

He looks at me with his grumpy face on and says "He can't see me in my room. I'll just go be naughty in there!!"

My mom uploaded some old photos to here Facebook and I was looking through them with Jayden. I stopped at one photo and said look there I am when I was younger. Jayden looks at the picture, then up at me and says "You're much prettier now."

Haircuts

Jayden: Hey LaShelle..can you cut my hair tomorrow?
Me: Really? your ASKING for a haircut?
Jayden: Yeah...cause I have hippy spots..and I don't want anyone to call me a hippy

Birthdays

Jayden-"Hey mom...when you had me out of your tummy why did you make my birthday so far away?"
Dad- "When would you like your birthday to be?"
Jayden-"Monday."

Me- Nana put the money in your bra
 Mom- No put it in your pocket you dont have anything holding your bra up
 Julianna-Yes I do I have shoulders

Jayden brought home an unfinished paper mom told him he needed to do it, he was mad cause his teacher didn't tell him he had to. He called mom a "dirt bag and a little shit". After laughing really hard and him still being naughty Mom spanked his bum and had him go sit on his bed. When she came back upstairs he was eating and had completed his paper, Mom asked him if it was worth fighting over, he said he didn't mean the part where he called me a dirt bag. I asked if he meant to call me a little shit. He said yes. Lil shit.

A few days after Jayden started school he come home and was telling me about the kids in his class.."There's a girl in my class she looks like she's never played before."

Not something the kids said, but still funny
Our cousin Tasha was holding jayden because he was cold.
 Me- nana I want to go home because I'm cold. And no one wants to hold me..
 Gas station worker- hey now. Thats not true, I'll hold you.
Me-I dunno about that we just got done swimmin and I'm all wet.
Worker-thats alright
 Kathy- Are you flirting with my niece?

Jayden: "I don't like to rub feet cause feet feel weird"

Trouble

Jayden had done something naughty and I was telling him to stop, he folds his arms and puts his "grumpy face" on.. "I wish you were a bad kid then I wouldn't get in so much trouble"

I haven't updated this blog in a while, since the last post school has started back up. I am not Jaydens mom, But it was hard for me to take him to kindergarten. I dreaded it all summer..I was able to keep it together when we took him to school, but when I got home I bawled my eyes out for at least 30 minutes! I know..I'm such a baby! For the last 6 years he is ALWAYS there! I still find myself opening the passenger side of the car door for him even when he isn't even there. The one thing that makes me smile is everyday, when I go to pick him up he sees me through the class room windows, he gets a big smile on his face and says "thats my big sister!!!" I just love this kid

Dating advice

Jayden: "Im not having a girlfriend. Ill just go to the orphanage and get kids" "Guys dont like roses...because guys arent girls. And if you have a girlfriend..you have to give her flowers. Pretty simple huh."